ROAR! [entries|friends|calendar] i always want to feel like part of this was mine. &info &&friends &&&myspace &&&&icons [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Friday September 21st, 2007 ] Reading my old entries makes me feel like a fucking loser. I'm glad I've grown up a lot in the past couple months to realize that most of the people that i thought were "wonderful" (see below entries) are really just scummy douchebags.  I hate school and every part of it, except weightlifting of course which would be pretty much impossible. Five AP classes is probably the worst academic decision i have ever made. I like a guy, and if he bails on me for a fifteen year old... i'll probably scream. I'm hungry. cmnt

[Tuesday July 17th, 2007 ] the more i grow up, the more i dread growing up. and it seems i always want something that i can't have. so i'm giving it to God. and we'll see if he's really as mad at me as i think he is. cmnt

[Friday June 8th, 2007 ] we said a lot of things to eachother 5 months ago that i'm sure we both would take back. and who knows where we'd be if we hadn't experienced what we did. i'm  glad we're both happy with our lives today. but, it's good to know that you were just as affected as i was by all that we went through. and it's even better to know that all i had to do to get over you was to realize that i was in love with you in the first place. you made me the person i am today. the person that loves with all their heart but still keeps everything inside.  and the person that lives for today, not for a day that might never come. you were my best failure. and even if i wouldve changed a few things, i'd never wish you didnt come into my life. cmnt

[Friday March 30th, 2007 ] spring break was better than i expected even though two of my best friends blew me off and went to the keys without me. fuck that, i'm over being nice to people who screw me over. i have a boyfriend :) and he is wonderful. and i got my tounge pierced yesterday. :P but shhh my mom can't know for a year.  <3 happy girl 1 cmnt

[Monday March 5th, 2007 ] i like a guy that has a girlfriend and i'm talkin' LONG TIME girlfriend. and it SUCKS. AHHHH isdhfuhdasfiouhsdioufhsiuhfafas. cmnt

[Thursday February 22nd, 2007 ] life was over. then i won state. then everything else got better. for the most part at least. i still have D, F, D as my grades, but they're getting better, i promise. My dad wants me to come stay with him to avoid "an explosion" with my mom.  So tonight, after Miss NSB, i will be packing up my stuff and going to Padres. I get happy knowing that no matter how bad things get, they can NEVER be as bad as they were a couple weeks ago, that's a promise.  So go ahead. Kick me while i'm down. I can take it. And i'll get back up and punch you in the fucking kidney! 2 cmnt

[Friday January 12th, 2007 ] Everyones recent entries are, sadly enough, very true. Even if most of you arent including me in your little rambles, i still miss you. I miss a lot of my friends... Old ones and new are more distant then ever. it definitley sucks but i'm glad that i saw good ole' RWE's quote "Things don't change, people do"  It's really true, and as much as we all hate to admit it, we have changed.  If only we could all go back to 8th grade... we really were like a big disfunctional family then. Think about it. ALL of us hung out, all the time. There was never a "Patrice" without a  "kory and shannan" and even "kehoe" most of the time. Like when Ryan Binder stuck his tounge down ellen's throat one day beofre school... Or we tied Katie "jugunda" vanwinkle's undies to the chair in crazy mrs. austins class.  Or when we would "LJ and AIM" all night at crystal or shannan's house and fight over who got to be cloned onto aim for the 50th person. or maybe when the majority of us decided to go bowling and shannan and i wore huge sunglasses.... we were such badasses, right? Does anyone recall when crystal was obsessed with travis? Or emily with star wars boy? Or me... yeah, i liked paul.. a lot. SHUT UP. When walking the track at P.E. was like the BEST time of the day, because all we did was gossip about what happened at lunch in our "slam books" When walking around florida shores doing flips for tips was like... the funniest thing in the world... just to order a pizza.  Does anyone remember when we RODE BIKES EVERYWHERE. GOD..... Let's be kids again. Please, oh please. I miss you guys. 4 cmnt

i have to poop [Tuesday January 9th, 2007 ] emma thinks girls "don't poop"  someone please tell her that she is insanely stupid.  tonight i will experience my first night of being in school until 10:00pm.  i'm just taking a stab in the dark... but i'm pretty sure its going to suck.  i want saturday to be here so that i can lift and win.  father time... where are you? 1 cmnt

[Friday December 8th, 2006 ] I can honestly say that i have never been this stressed out by school in my entire life. Exams are right around the corner and i have the feeling i'm going to bomb all of them. My math class is like a foreign language to me, there's not enough time in the day to day anything for engilsh, biology is so bllaahh, and medical... i don't even know how i'm in my third year of medical academy and i've learned absolutely nothing. Not to mention steering committee is full speed ahead and all of my yearbook deadlines are coming up throughout december and january. And on top of all that, its weightlifting season and i want NOTHING more than to win state. It sucks that the only thing standing in my way is one of my best friends. Someone told me yesterday that "there are no friends in weightlifting, just competition." I laughed my ass off.  Oh, and christmas is almost here which means i have to work twice as much to buy gifts for my family. Did i mention i'm in desperate need of a $180.00 pair of weightlifting shoes. And my new bumbers need to be painted. OH ANND my gym mebership is up in exactly 9 days.  On the other hand, Sean took me out to dinner the other night, and well, it was pretty much great. Good thing someone makes me feel a little bit special. I wish he wasn't so old. No, i just wish i wasn't so young.  My mom thinks i'm a binge alcoholic again after finding a mysterious bottle of vodka OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. weird much? Don't even ask me how it got there, but it's my job to find out "which one of my friends it connects to"... thanks mom. Considering i can't even drink at all due to weightlifting season. Good stuff.  All i want for christmas is a good boyfriend, and to be rich. THEN, all of my problems would be solved. Think of all that extra time i would have if i didnt have to work... then i could study a little more. I want to have a bonfire tonight. I love bonfires.  Adios. cmnt

[Saturday November 25th, 2006 ] There are times when i want to tell you everything i feel, cry to you and make you see that we really could live like this. Then there's the times when i'm so grateful to have a friend like you after all of the work we put into us, after every fight and fall. And i think i'm crazy for risking that. And there are those times when you disappoint me so much that i wonder if you even know me at all. I cant wait till we both grow up and you realize how stupid you were. And we'll laugh at this... that day when we're still best friends at 25 and i can "put up with the family" But untill that day we'll just laugh with eachother about all the mistakes we make along the way.. cause so far, we could write a damn book. cmnt

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